You just don’t have enough things to keep you busy, so you’ve opted to gossip. Whether you created a little juicy rumor all on your own or you are just passing along some fabricated tale about another, you have just added to what is one of the ultimate wastes of time. More importantly, you’ve made yourself look like an idiot.

I’m not sure why some unsassy folks are so in love with idle conversations of this nature. I honestly think it is because they really don’t have enough things to occupy their time, and/or they don’t enjoy their life enough so they would rather create drama for others. Others just love to spread unsubstantiated stories through their rumor mill network. Although, they aren’t as evil as the originator of the fallacy, they become little gossip drones pedaling gossip like it is the latest iPhone.

Sassiquette Lesson #3: If someone peppers their conversations with sentences that begin with “Did you hear about…” or “Can you believe that…” they are a gossip and deserve to be messed with.

There are evil things you can do to determine who as gossip is that become quite amusing, but you have to be willing to put yourself on the line for it. I’ve found that best thing to do is feed the rumormonger a juicy bit of false information about you. It has to be something this suspected gossiper will want to immediately gab about. Make sure to request complete confidence as you tell them the tale. Prep your close friends about this little game you are about to do so they won’t become surprised to hear you are a retired porn actress, who paid your way through college as a featured actress.

Once your gossip test has been launched just sit and wait to see how long the story takes to filter through your network. When this story has evolved so many times it has made its rounds back to you, it’s always fun to chat with the blabbermouth and let them know what you did maybe even reverse spread the truth back through the channels that delivered you the story. Granted, it will make them very unhappy to find they have been caught in a trap, but they will learn a valuable lesson, which is to shut the Hell up.