Neighbor Unlove

I don’t like my neighbors at all.  I’ve never been a fan of neighbors.  Maybe it’s because I dream of living on several acres, where I don’t have to talk to, see, or even think about neighbors.  Currently, I live in sassy suburbia, and, although, I do love my home, I unlove my neighbors.  The sassy, scotch drinker hates them and wishes they would all foreclose on their homes so that we could buy them.

The neighbor closest to our property is just awful.  They actually think that putting old carpet is a good idea for weed control.  It’s one of the most atrocious things one can do to their yard aside from littering it with lawn gnomes and pink flamingos.  I am very close to turning these neighbors into the city for some property violation, and I can’t imagine that I’m alone with this consideration.

I have a horrible idea that I would like to buy this home, knock it down, add another addition to my tardis of an abode.  Then I would add a pool, pool house with an attached garage, more garden space, and a roller skating rink.  The sassy, scotch drinker would never allow the last item on my list, but a girl can dream…

P.S. If I have portrayed myself successfully as a judgmental snob and someone you never want to live by, then this post has been a success.

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