It’s that time of year when everyone makes these silly resolutions, these resolutions that they never intend to finish. Because of this tradition, you all make the gyms crowded in January and talk about weight loss after a month of holiday gorging. Honestly, I don’t get why people make New Year resolutions. Frankly, my personal goal-setting isn’t restricted to just to the end of year. Additionally, I’m not one to publically tout all the awesome goals I plan on achieving, but I thought this year should be different. Here’s a list of my sassy New Year resolutions:
- Never wear skinny jeans. This fad really needs to die for anyone who is not anorexic.
- Become an alcoholic and/or drug addict so I can obtain everyone’s pity while being a total jerk. It works for other people I know so I thought I would give it a try.
- Challenge other Prius drivers to races on the freeway. To increase my pity intake, I’ll combine it with the previous listed resolution.
- Ensure that Psy’s “Gangnam Style” Youtube music video reaches 1 billion views
I’m so awesome that this already happened. You’re welcome. - Eat more sushi
So there’s my list. I think they are all noble goals. What are your resolutions?
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